Spiders have been around for a long time. They've been creeping out lifeforms since there have been other lifeforms to creep out. They have too many legs. They've got pointy teeth. Their eyes are just plain weird looking. Some are small enough to easily get lost in your bed sheets. Some are big enough to cover your face. Some are deadly poisonous, and some are waiting in that dark spot in your cupboard. They are as varied as they are unpleasant.
Luckily the little critters have always had two major weaknesses. For one, spider bodies are incredibly squishable, succumbing to as little as a wad of toilet paper. Secondly, being spiders, they have spider brains, which are fairly small. Their diminutive intellect has prevented them from realizing what their creepiness could help them accomplish.
Unfortunately we may soon need to bow down to a race of tiny, terrifying tyrants. A group of scientists down in Arizona have developed a method to increase the thinking power of any living thing, by increasing how densely packed their brain cells are. Instead of testing this out on a species of something harmless like butterflies or alligators, they chose to test out this new affront to nature on everyone's favorite nightmare.
All attempts to reach the lab for comment have failed. The lab is assumed lost and will be nuked from a safe distance.
- Harry out
Luckily the little critters have always had two major weaknesses. For one, spider bodies are incredibly squishable, succumbing to as little as a wad of toilet paper. Secondly, being spiders, they have spider brains, which are fairly small. Their diminutive intellect has prevented them from realizing what their creepiness could help them accomplish.
Unfortunately we may soon need to bow down to a race of tiny, terrifying tyrants. A group of scientists down in Arizona have developed a method to increase the thinking power of any living thing, by increasing how densely packed their brain cells are. Instead of testing this out on a species of something harmless like butterflies or alligators, they chose to test out this new affront to nature on everyone's favorite nightmare.
All attempts to reach the lab for comment have failed. The lab is assumed lost and will be nuked from a safe distance.
- Harry out
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